thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
