I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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