Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
