K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
