After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
