I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
