I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
