who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
