He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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