There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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