You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
