Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
