hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
