The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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