I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
