Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
