you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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