She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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