She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
