He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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