Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
