I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
