i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
