If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
