my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
