he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
should my penis look like a turkey
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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