Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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