I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He called his prostate his "boner button".
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
