its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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