Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
