I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
