I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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