Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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