her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
