If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
