Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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