You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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