is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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