my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
