Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
