Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
