What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
