Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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