I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
