I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
