the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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