I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
