im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
