How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
