so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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