oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
