2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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