it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
