guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
