why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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