what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
