An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
