You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
dude. I can hear the air.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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