I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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